"i want that."

After spending my morning looking at all the pretty blogs, blogs with names like Cupcakes & Bubblegum Fairies, I'm feeling a little....meh. There's a new project I'm trying to put together for this little blog and it's super frustrating and exciting at the same time.

Here's my struggle lately:

I get caught up in the cycle of thinking "I want that. Not really, do I? That is scary. Nope I do not want that right now." and other variations of this.
Freelance photo work, babies, houses, etsy shops, new blogs, dance studios, Louisiana bayou or southern California living, event planner, English teacher, writer, dancer, etc. etc. etc.

And that's just life, isn't it? You want what you can't/don't have and then the cycle doubles back and you're content with the overabundance of blessings you currently carry and then again you want.

And so I turn the corner and decide to do what makes me happiest in this moment and all is well and I love until I am blue in the face. And then I breathe and look around and repeat. Pour the tea, pat the dog, fold the clothes, write the letters, sing the songs, inflate my lungs. Love this life of mine so much I sometimes cry.

Because I do love it, wholly, as painful as that may be at times, but I still want. And daydream about those wants, and sometimes feel guilty or selfish, but then the cycle starts over again. It's okay to want and be contented simultaneously, I'm happy in these moments, I am alive and it is good.

The song above is a little like my inner conflict. I love this song, and how they cover it, but I feel bad about liking it. A cover! It's impure! But I still think it's beautiful.

Some passive aggressive for your Thursday.

THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY WHEN I'M REALLY ANNOYED AND ANGRY LIKE RIGHT NOW WOULD BE A GREAT EXAMPLE:

1. Dancing:

2. The pets 

3. Lee

4. My family (happy birthday Mum!!)

5. My students

6. Practicing self-restraint with food 6 days out of the week

7. And finally getting my 1 free day

8.Working out

9. Tattoos

10. Gardening

11. When the sun comes out after rain all day

12. Finally figuring something out after hours of work in code

13. How I feel when I correctly put on liquid eyeliner

14.Getting paid (although I'm starting to forget what this feels like)

how to have a busy lazy (happy) day.

I have lots of those ^. It's busy because I've got shit to do, but lazy because I can wear leggings and a sweater in my own home for most of it. And when I have to leave the house, there's usually a way to calm those tasks down too.

Okay, I've got costumes to sew, props to make, classes to teach, a house to pick up and clean, invoices to send, checks to deposit, food to cook, and blog post to write. 

Here's what's worked for me!

Play music.
At home, in the car, with headphones while shopping...find something you really connect with and play it when you need to do some deep breathing. I find listening to calming music while in traffic/driving to work/figuring out dance schedules really helps my mind open up to an organized process and makes my tasks seem less daunting. I really love Ludovico Einaudi, Sigur Ros, and the John Butler Trio.

Pat an animal.
I know. I know: I'mtoobusytobepattinganimals! But you're not. And they love it so very much. It's proven that spending quality time with an animal friend reduces stress and lowers blood pressure. Rub your cat's ears while drinking your morning coffee. Scratch your dog's belly while you wait for the water to boil in the tea kettle.

Drink hot beverages.
There's usually no better way to make me feel comforted, and it doesn't even have to be caffeinated  I recently happened to find something called "Happiness Tea" (not sure of the brand). It's a mix of saffron and other spices, I think rooibos, which I love. Just telling myself it's happiness in a cup makes sipping it all the better.

Sing in the car. 
So after you've done your deep breathing, change the radio over to a pop or country station-- something you  have fun singing along to...then do it. LOUD. I used to get so nervous someone would see me jamming by myself when I was driving, but honestly, if I saw someone doing the same thing, it would make me so happy! So I think about all the people I am potentially making smile (they can't hear me so I know they won't cringe) and sing like I'm Beyonce at the Superbowl.

Breathe/Meditate
Set your alarm for two minutes from now. Sit or lay somewhere comfortable  All you have to think about are your breathing cycles. I am breathing in, I am breathing out. If your mind wanders, gently get back on track when you can. Stand up slowing when your alarm goes off and try to recognize the calm that has washed over you. If you have time for a longer session, it's even better. (I love to do this at the end of my busy days right before bedtime).

Smile
I've always heard that smiling/laughing even when you don't feel like it will eventually make you happy. I'm all for doing something that doesn't require taking more meds to be happy, so this is something I try to practice. Usually what happens is that I smile, feel silly that I'm smiling at nothing, think of something happy, smile for real, realize what i'm doing, laugh at myself, and then laugh at myself laughing at myself. It's a great cycle.

Exercise
Yes, you do have time. Do anything to get your heart pumping. You'll feel more productive, happier, and more energized after, too! Run up and down the stairs for 3 minutes (turn on the radio, start and stop when the song does). Do some jumping jacks while singing happy nonbirthday to yourself. Do squats in the bathroom in front of the mirror and make a different funny face at yourself every time you pop up.

REVOLT FITNESS: Week 4

mango smoothie^

Week 3 Review:
I was better about eating food from our plan last week, and I loved having my smoothie and snacks post-workout. It makes finishing the work that much better.
I'll be honest, I tried making the dessert this week and I think I did it wrong because it tasted...blah. Didn't even finish it. I had been subbing the healthy cake we could make for strawberries and sugar-free chocolate sauce (dipped) instead. I'd eat that even if I wasn't on an eating plan-- so yummy!
I am starting to wean off carb addiction...I think. I used to be literally addicted. Like if there was pasta in a 4 mile radius of me, I'd find and eat it. Now I don't really crave it, which is wonderful because  I was eating a hell of a lot before I started Revolt.
I tried the leg day exercises as a ladder, or 7s as some call it. Holy eff.
Looking ahead to Week 4:
I'm looking forward to learning more exercises and seeing more results. I can definitely feel/see a change in my body and it is so delightful. Yay for feeling better all around.
I tried one of our cleansing smoothies today and it wasn't my cup of tea. I may have added too much cayenne, which is very likely because I cannot handle spice. At all. It called for "a pinch" and I put in "a pinchish." Had to plug my nose to get it down! Bleck!
I really want to find some kettle bells, a better yoga mat, and a medicine ball for my home workouts. I thought I'd be taking these exercises to the gym and so far I haven't gone once. It's just so much easier to do them in my living room!

In Which I Post 400 Photos of Lunabelle & Cali

Because they are derpy like this:

And they look like Marshmallow Fluff with legs:

 And they met fluffy friends:

And were SO NERVOUS OMG about this stick tepee. (Luna went in to get the ball! Such an embarrassingly proud moment for me)

And, obviously, because they are so cute it hurts my guts.

The End.